2023 – The year of being selective with what you give a sh*t about

If you know me, you know I’m a big “scrolling on Pinterest for poems and quotes”-girlie. I do it way more than scrolling on social media.

Last year, I came across something on Pinterest that I think about often: “Peace is about being selective with what you give a sh*t about”.

People who approach the world like: “IDGAF about anyone or anything, f*ck this, that and all of you” scares me a little. I’ve seen a lot of people in cities like LA post these things, and to me, that attitude is (in lack of better words) giving psychopath behavior. We have to care about something, right?

But you cannot care about everything either, if you want to find some sort of peace in your mind. It’s okay to get upset and angry about some things. But not everything. Not about the delayed mail AND that you dropped your coffee AND that you forgot to turn on the dryer AND that there’s a hole in your sock AND that your battery is low on your phone AND your friend getting promoted before you and, and, and… Caring about all of that sounds stressful, right.

My own example: moving out of LA while I’m in Dubai

Let me give a personal example: I moved to Dubai in November and was told in the end of December that I had to move out of my apartment in LA by the end of January. Moving out of LA while I’m in the Emirates, a 15 hours flight away? I could’ve freaked out and set myself on fire and cry because “Omg, omg, omg, now I’m gonna be homeless, this was my favorite place to live and I’m never gonna find a place like this again”. But I didn’t. No tears, no adrenaline, just: “okay, no problem”.

Here’s why: Apartments and material things are truly not on the list of things I care deeply about. My family is on my list, my friends are on my list, dance is on my list and a few other things like integrity, freedom, accountability and things being fair.. it’s all on my list.

So if I don’t get the job for a dream audition – I care.

When I miss my family – I care.

When someone doesn’t treat my friend right – I care.

When I feel like I’m not progressing in dance – I will feel stressed out, because I care.

When authorities don’t treat people fairly – I care.

I care deeply.

Everyone’s list is different

If you’re a fashion designer, your list 100% looks different than mine. If I can’t wear my favorite sweats because of a stain, I don’t think twice about it, I just wear some other random sweats. I would feel tempted to roll my eyes if you lost your mind because of mayo on your shirt, but if you chose to put fashion on your list, I truly respect and admire your melt down.

But you can’t care about everything. So every time you put something on your list, you have to remove something else from it.

Respect other’s list

Your happiness is not other people’s happiness and your list is not gonna look like your mom’s list.

A guy I was seeing visited me in LA. He cared deeply about his clothes, his look and fashion. And before I yelled: “OK COME ON, WHO CARES” when it would take him forever to pick the right T-shirt in the morning, I took a deep breath and tried to tell myself: “Shut up Mathilde, this is on his list”.

It’s not silly to spend $500 on a T-shirt and 40 minutes on getting dressed, when you care about it. It’s not silly to be extremely selective with the food you eat, if it’s on your list.

In the end of the day, the most attractive thing about a human being is their passion and love for something and watching them truly care.

Being selective with who you care about

Shout out to all my little people pleasers. Being extremely selective with who you care about and whose opinions of you that matter is major.

And your name better be on that list.

If you care deeply about what everyone thinks of you, you’ll most likely never live your truth or be your authentic self. And that sh*t is harder and more depressing than being disliked will ever be.

I care about what I think of myself, what my friends and family (who TRULY knows me) think of me. I want to be a good friend and good sister and a good daughter.

What doesn’t matter to me, is what people who barely know me think of me. I want to show up with good intentions to the best of my ability, but we can only control our intentions, not others perception of us.

If you’re my boss, I care about what you think of my work when I’m working. If you’re my trainer, I care about what you think of my squat form (it’s not elite, let me tell you that). If you’re in a position where you know more than me work-wise, I care about what you think and I want constructive ciriticism, because I want to grow.

But that’s low-key it.

If someone doesn’t know you…

If a person doesn’t know you – if you haven’t had a sit-down conversations about life, family, upbringing, goals and dreams – and they don’t like you or have strong opinions about your personality, it’s a good idea to not care for the sake of your own sanity. I’ve said it many times now, but you cannot care about everyone and everything if you want peace. Prove me wrong, I dare you.

You legit set yourself free, when you stop spending your precious time and energy on constantly attempting to be understood, accepted and liked.

2023 is the year of being extremely selective and pour triple energy into the things you choose to care about, let’s goo.


IG: @mathilde.veje

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