Scared of making wrong decisions? I get it. One of the hardest things about being a somehow adult is that your parents (hopefully) aren’t making the choices for you anymore. I almost fell of my chair – and by chair, I mean couch – when I read that the average adult makes 35,000 conscious decisions every single day. THIRTY-FIVE-THOUSAND!?!! UHM, OF COURSE ADULTING IS HARD THEN.
Just making o-n-e solid good decision can feel like a 4 hour episode of Judge Judy with all my F.O.M.O’s dressed in suits sitting on the left and all my insecurities panicking on the right. Being indecisive can be what you Americans call “a sh*t show”.
Biting those perfectly manicured nails of yours over potentially missing out on something good by making a wrong choice is normal. I’m there with you. Sometimes I wish I could foster a baby Yoda and have him sit in my backpack forever and delegate all responsibilities to him.
With the world looking like the set of Jumanji I will never say never on that Yoda-idea, but for now – we gotta find a way to feel better about making decisions.
Why are we scared of making wrong decisions?
We refuse to accept the fact that every choice comes with an attached consequence. Especially in 2020, we want to be everything and have everything all at once. We simply just forget that we can do ANYTHING but not EVERYTHING.
We wanna be the best friend, daughter and sister, the best at our sport, get that prestigious phD, have a great economy and an amazing sex life, an athletic body, a shiny car, go out until 5 AM on a Saturday but be ready for organic healthy breakfast at 7 AM on Sunday, go for long hikes and meditate and be able to stand on our heads in some sort of mindful yoga practice named after an Egyptian Prostitute, but also lay in bed all day in our big a** apartment made out of 100% glass that smells like Frank Lloyd Wright – so minimalistic that it doesn’t even have furniture – you just sleep on a glass plate. #FengShui.
We wanna be on a juice cleanse but also not care about the pressure society puts on our bodies and have a stabile daily routine but also just say “fck it” and travel as far as we can into Asia to do something nice for the Pandas – but also remember that child we are sponsoring on the East Coast of Mozambique who we are Venmoing $26.5 a month, which actually sucks because now we can’t afford that Netflix subscription, but we don’t have time to cry over that, because right now you’re actually stressing over the fact that you’re invited for two birthdays on Sunday at the same time: One in Downtown LA, the other one in New York, and you refuse to not make it to one of them, so you grab your toolbox and cut yourself in half with the biggest saw you have. Who cares if you just cut through your limbic system, your lungs and pancreas, and who cares if you’re walking around like a confused extra from The Walking Dead. As long as you show up for every. single. thing. this life has to offer – even just for 3.5 minutes – who cares what you look or feel like.
I think you get the point.
Are you an overthinker? You might wanna jump over and read this blog post after!
The Netflix Syndrom & The Fear Of Making Wrong Decisions
Making choices can feel like picking a movie on Netflix on a friday night. There are just so many options that you sometimes get semi paralyzed and end up watching none of it, because you get overwhelmed.
Years ago I had to make the decision whether I should go and dance in Beijing, Paris, London or Los Angeles for three months. Looking back, I get a little embarrassed over myself, because I was so stressed an anxious about making the wrong decision.
At a point I had to take a look at myself and say: STOP. LOOK AT HOW AMAZING THIS IS.
Putting yourself in the mindset of being thankful for the fact that you even have amazing things to choose between will make the process easier. I mean imagine if there was ONE movie on Netflix. No thank you.
Fun fact: You are not supposed to do it all
That’s why some people could take pictures from the inside of a black hole more than 50 million light years away. Because those people have said no to a billion things to focus on getting like… really good at science. That’s why Travis VanderZanden succeeded in transforming L.A into a living Bird Scooter hell: because he focused on getting really good at… whatever it is that he does.
Making a choice to really go after something doesn’t mean that you can’t accomplish other things in your life down the road, but we have to give up the thought of having it all – whatever that even means – in order to relax and enjoy the choices we make. That’s the only way to get rid of the F.O.M.O.
The decisions we can change and those we can’t
It takes off the pressure when you realize that you can change most of your “wrong decisions ” and go live a completely different life by tomorrow or next week. If I want to move back to Europe tomorrow – I can. If I want to pursue a career with way more money – I can. We are very fortunate and we are rarely trapped by anything else than our own expectations.
But then there are some opportunities that won’t come back around. I can always go back to school, but I can’t always be a dancer. I think we have to go for the once-in-a-lifetime opportunities when they present themselves in front of us, because I swear, the “what if’s” will be stuck in your head for years if you say no.
If you get an opportunity that you’ll never get again that scares you but excites you – please at least try it out. (Do you easily feel homesick? Then I think you’d enjoy this post too!)
The hard consequences
I can’t be there again when my brother gets his license. I can’t get the birthdays back that I missed. Or the weddings. Or the social events I missed during my time in school because of dance. I can’t go back and be there for my granddads funeral. All of that can be tough to realize. But that’s the reality of making choices sometimes. And that’s when you have to fight the urge of rolling yourself up like a depressed Armadillo and instead fixing your pony tail and toughen up a little.
When I made the choice to move to the States to do what I love the most, I promised myself to stop worrying about wrong decisions and right decisions. Let go of the “what if’s” cause guess what – you’ll never know.
Always choose happiness
Whatever you choose, always make sure to choose happiness. In order to be that amazing human being for your family, friends and strangers you have to make sure that your love tank is filled all the way up. And the way you do that is by choosing things over and over and over again that excites you for the rest of your life. You are put on Earth to live your dream, so please do everything you can to make that happen.
Trust yourself and understand that there are no wrong decisions, you either win or you learn 🙂