Making decisions can be so stressful. It can feel paralyzing when you’re presented with a lot of choices that are difficult to compare, you lose sleep, you make your pro’s and con’s- list and you’re driving your friends and family crazy in the process of trying to make them choose for you.
It’s overwhelming. I get it. I’m there at the moment:
- You start doubting your own capabilities.
- Procrastinate because you’re overwhelmed.
- Overcomplicate your options.
- Put an extreme amount of pressure on making the perfect decision.
But what if there are no wrong choices, only different experiences?
Decision-making thoughts that helps me:
1. Making decisions creates confidence
First, I think it’s bada** and creates a lot of confidence to take the steering wheel, be proactive and take charge. Instead of waiting around and have other people make decisions for you and instead of just letting life happen to you, you now have the opportunity to take charge and be that “CEO of your own life” who decides what he/she wants and goes after it.
2. Life is all about experiences
I always try to pursue the biggest experience and the biggest adventure. The thing that would challenge me more, the “once in a lifetime opportunities”, the travel opportunities and that crazy job opportunity abroad. What would make you grow more and get you the farthest out of your comfort zone?
3. Nothing is (necessarily) permanent
I’ve said this so many times, but the reason I can live in LA while my family lives in Denmark is because I know in my heart, I can go to LAX and never return any second if I want to. It gives me so much peace to remind myself that I can always change my mind. You can always move home again or quit that job or break up with that guy etc.
And that applies to the majority of our decisions. Sure, there are consequences that we have to deal with after, but life becomes a whole lot more fun when we stop taking it so f*cking serious all the time.
4. Gather all the info you can first
I actually don’t love a pro’s and con’s list, but I do like a list. Take option A and write all the information you have about it down. Then all your fears related to it, both rational and irrational. Then write down how it would benefit you. Do the same thing with option B. And C. Or however many options you have.
5. Reach out to people – IMPORTANT.
I have 0.00% idea what you’re making decisions about right now, but I’m telling you, I’ve reached out to SO many people in my own decision-making process. Some people replied, some people didn’t, which is totally fine! You have nothing to lose and everything to win here.
Let’s say you have the opportunity to move to Chicago. Find someone you know (or someone who your friend knows) who moved there. Or find someone online from a random blog (hi, me!). Ask them about their experiences, tips and tricks, why they love it, why they don’t, mention your fears etc. People ask me all the time about LA, dance and travel and I LOVE to share. People love to talk about their own experiences and I’m sure it would help you a lot to get some insider-inputs.
6. The art of not thinking for too long
Being in a decision-making era feels exhausting and draining and you can literally drive yourself insane. My problem is that I get impatient and make rushed decisions, but I know the majority of my friends have the opposite problem.
They overthink foreeeever. I think we gotta find a middle ground, where we think about the options, but we still gotta set a timer on this madness, okay. Whether that be a specific day and time where you gotta figure this out, is up to you, but if you have all the information you can get, nothing is gonna make it easier from here.
Your peace is important, so prioritize ripping this band aid off quick.
7. Let go of what you don’t know and can’t control
Unless you’re some crazy a** wizard that can predict the future and see what happens if you choose option A or B, there are a lot of unknown things that just aren’t in your control. Like a pandemic, climate changes, inflation and the economy, people’s behavior and mood, who gets fired, war, if someone dies, if you get injured or sick or even worse – if you fall in love and drop everything to move to Canada in a year from now… you cannot predict and calculate these things, so let’s not focus on that for now.
It’s a part of that “Being A Human Being”-contract you signed when you were born into this sh*t show called Planet Earth. You can’t control everything. If you didn’t read it, I can tell you right now that the most important part of that Human-Being contract is to literally just do your best, love and have as much fun as possible.
8. Anxiety and stress doesn’t mean you’re making a wrong decision
I’m a firm believer in going with what your gut is telling you, but not necessarily with what your alarm system is telling you. That system is there to keep you indoor and never leave the house, it’s been installed in us when we were hunters in the wild and had to protect ourselves from wolves and dragons, or whatever. Anything that’s unfamiliar, a new territory etc. is scary and foreign and activates the alarm system which feels like anxiety and stress.
So if you’re making decisions and you feel scared before pulling the trigger – it’s normal to feel stressed and not necessarily a bad sign at all. It’s just unfamiliar and new.
9. “Who cares, we’re all gonna die”
Literally. My old roomate in LA used to say this all the time, and I approve that message. I’m not trying to be negative here, I’m honestly trying to be quite the opposite. Sometimes when I get in my own head, I have this little chat with myself, like: “Hey, literally no one cares, no one thinks about you because everyone thinks about themselves, who gives a sh*t, life is an illusion, you’re not even the size of an ant in this universe and your problems are so tiny that they won’t even matter to yourself in 2 years from now, so stop being so depresso, have fun and let’s get it moving, alright.”.
10. Voice memos
I’m all about practical advice, so here’s a practical and strange one! Take your phone out and go for a walk. Pretend your doing an interview where you’re explaining why you ended up going with option A and where that brought you, what you learned and what your advice to others is who wants to do what you’re doing. Why you were scared and why you shouldn’t have been so scared. What advice would you have given your younger self?
Then do the exact same with option B and C and D, or however many options you have. Then listen to them afterwards. Listening to yourself in the most litteral way can be so helpful. When we talk we don’t think as much as when we’re writing, so I’m positive that you’ll discover a bunch of things about yourself and your fears and dreams when you do this exercise.
Hope it helps! ILY, I know it can feel like a lot, but you got this. Good for you that you have options!